Frogger

i am asleep.  sometimes i’ve found/think that it’s better/best to write at that inbetween time because my intuition has more powere, and my internal editor is weakened.  just like my lower back.  all this sitting causes physiological manifestations of anxiety in my body espesh lowah back. 

went to mass tonight.  with my mom.  hmmmm.  there are some elements i like.  the present was cool, tho my gaydar went off.  i’m i allowed to have gaydar?  is that offensive?  maybe that’s only my effeminate-dar.  either way, it’s probably wrong.  the -dar that is.

went to a great indian buffet yesterday at a quality inn in rotterdam.  ate too much.  that’s part of my genetic makeup.  too much.  not just food, or alcohol, or whatever…just tooooooo much.  it’s a’ight.  better than too little.  not that it’s a competition.

moving vurrry slowly through the final exams.  perhaps, the last i’ll e’er grade.  who does that?  who fires themself from a college teaching job?  this guy.  i do. 

the distance from the movie theater…today i saw august rush…to the room where my tools can manifest the creativity of my inner soul, and mind-brain mind you, is immense.  holding onto the yearning, sifted from the cheese, of the main characters and feel the innocence, but NOT naivete of the young boy made me believe in something more powerful than my bad mood.  arms uncrosses.  jaw muscles relaxed.  my heart rose taking my ccrumpled back with it.  for a hile i wasn’t alone. 

so i isolated.  here’s where you laugh.  i hid from all the conversations, emotions, awkwardnesses pauses.  yes, i unhid at one point and had a nice talk with jim.  ayn rand?   brian (would have) shrugged (if he could move his shoulders. 

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