dropping my shoulders
I always want to write blog entries online, right in that text box, but if safari crashes as it often does…?
lately I’ve been thinking about marriage, breaking up with my osteopath, guitar, kissing, what the coolest 39cent stamp is, how I will deal with three jobs in the fall, if I really want to buy a new computer, how I can stay awake, how not to hate running, confidence, secrets, solitude, and solemnitude. the ‘uge. I am the master of de arts. hmmm. I wonder if that just means debt. kiddingg.
I’m very sleepy and wonder if everyone usually gets this sleepy at work. is it too much, food, not enough sleep, crash from coffee, poor back alignment and adjustment, boredom…I can’t find the power cable for the work digital camera and a trip to radio shack—to buy something I know I’ve bought for this exact reason before—is/seems too daunting.
here’s a good question (back on pointfocus), esp. for the “ladies” although all are welcomed to answer. is it better to just kiss someone or admit your feelings to them? I’ve done both and the first one is a lot harder (involves more courage, ‘uge’ly). but the unspoken is fuel, and the beginning, kindling.
a “colleague” who is actually a master photographer, just said to my boss “what would we all do without brian.” hmmph (that’s a sighing laugh). not much different. if only I had a job that tapped all my creative ade and went easier on my ropey back. then a significance, emblazoned on even me, would erupt, through slow crescendo.
May 25th, 2006 at 10:30 am
i once walked with a boy i’d just started getting to know, from houston street to columbus circle, talking, not touching, each of us becoming more and more enthusiastic about the other…when we got to columbus circle, we sat on a bench and he said, “i think we should kiss now, what do you think?”
then we made out till 4 in the morning. it was lovely! we both wanted to kiss, and we were both nervous, and by saying something before leaning in and landing a smacker on me, it was confirmation that we were in the same place…without being a, “hey, i really like you” kind of moment.
most guys just go for the kiss, and that puts me on the defensive even if i WANT to kiss them. and dropping the feelings bomb creates distance: here’s how i feel, now respond. “i think we should kiss” is perfect–it’s like, “hey, i think we should go take a bike ride” or something. you’re being invited to DO something, and you get to say, “yeah, that sound like fun!”
June 8th, 2006 at 11:12 am
so i’ve been thinking about this kissing question for the past 20 minutes (at work) and can’t think of a perfect answer. the question you posed is the exact question that makes a first kiss so electrifying… confirming that who you want to kiss wants to kiss you back.
and the racing, fluttering heart feeling that you get not really knowing whether the other person wants to kiss you back helps build a welcome tension and warm rush (for lack of a better term)
when the world around you seems to get fuzzy
and the only clear thought, sight, smell, sound is the other person –
you ache to complete the experience with a touch on the lips…
DAMN!
i remember my first kiss with T and it felt just like this–it had a happy ending. but we kind of had a “so what do you think about me?” conversation a week prior. this, in addition to low muffle of guilt-laden drama because i was fresh off a relationship with a person he knew (and you know as your mentee).
June 26th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
I enjoyed Melissa’s story. I have to use that line… “I think we should kiss now, what do you think?” It tells the person what you want, and asks them what they want. That’s beautiful. It says… “I want to kiss you AND I want to know how you feel about that.” Remarkable.
July 25th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
this is tough for me. because i think i’d kind of just rather be kissed, since I tend to over-talk things. but then again, it is my style to over-talk things and kiss later. so. maybe i have a sort of “let’s just kiss” fantasy, but it’s not quite who i am.