(we-)
This is my first blog. Some people said “it might be good for me.” Tell me if this is what people typically write at the beginning.
I should be eating something before I go to yoga, but I’ve been procrastinating blogging too long which I’m doing to procrastinate paper-writing.
These are my last papers. Grad school class room ends tues day. spring = internship. happy and afraid to leave school. been writing my papers this semester in the middle of the night. they’re very intuitive. 
my professor from college has a blog. is it postmodern to write about blogging? self-reflexive? i was amazed at all she bared on there. that’s what makes me nervous, that i’ll share too much. that that.
i’m in search of my passion these days. i was told, passively, that if i don’t find my passion and follow it in life i won’t be happy. i’m not sure what that looks like. i can identify fun, and boredom, and stress, and worry, and ambition, and anxiety, and appreciation, and vulnerability, and strength, and a lot of other words that are used too often. but happiness? how long in each stint does it last? can y’all remember when i was happy–what was i doing? this isn’t my “i’m so depressed i don’t know what happiness is” hat, it’s more of a “what technically is happiness? is it when i’m feeling good? is it more durable?” hat. it’s cold outside.
December 22nd, 2005 at 6:54 pm
When I think of you happy, B, I think of you surrounded by friends from the different walks of your life, and having a moment to enjoy that surround. In this mental picture, Marissa is there to recognize the happiness in you and mirror it back in simple eye contact (because, I say, if you experience an emotion in the woods and a bestest best friend isn’t there to see it, does it make a sound?)
Also, you have hot sauce on your face from the wings that you have just finished.
And also, feeling right now that my ducks are in a row, and I’m in my dream job, I want to say that I now believe that happiness is more durable than moments or evenings of feelings good. Now that I’m in this job that I adore, I have an underpinning, a strong undercurrent of happy every day, which is only episodically challenged by frustrations (tailpipe meets road sorts of things). Or so says the Sudafed, anyhow.